Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
