so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
