Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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