You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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