all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Randomize
