Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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