i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize