he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
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