Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
