what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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