just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
We were destined to go to rehab together
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize