R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Fuck me I smell like cheese
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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