it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
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