Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize