Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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