69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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