Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
He shit in the fireplace
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