It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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