How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
