I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
