i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize