New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
