I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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