awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
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