I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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