I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
