Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
