Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
