Kiss
Puke
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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