suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
