is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize