wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I think your dad took our porno
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
