Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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