Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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