I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
