You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
