Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
