belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Randomize
