Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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