i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
