don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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