i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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