When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
