u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
