THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
