oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
the raccoons are back...
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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