you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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