Porn is love you can see.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
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