I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
