It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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