I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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