Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
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