Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
