Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
