Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
