Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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