I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize
