Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
