dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize