i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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