I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
