I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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