even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize